Men Who Blow Hot and Cold

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It seemed to me it was all of a sudden…just from one day into the next. At some point, it is just too absurd, just another round of hell.

But he said he was happy I opened up to him, and that he loved me even more for it. Because too many girls play games with us at the same time. I felt so much better, that I had the strength to walk away. The hot and cold is really destroying me inside.

Blowing Hot and Cold Psychology

The person who is doing hot and cold with you is doing it to protect themselves, Flee they follow, follow they flee - this is human nature, and for some guys, if you appear to want them, they run in the opposite direction. If you have ever had this happen to you it is natural to first wonder what is wrong with you. But more often than not, this is actually about themselves, and their desire to protect themselves from being hurt. Understand that there are 3 phases to the hot and cold pattern. Phase one, The hot phase: You are given constant attention, flirtation, banter, easy communication, and then completely unexpectedly, texts are not returned and dates are broken. You start to wonder what did I do wrong, and you start to pursue them. The guy has gone into a cold cycle. Phase two: the cold cycle: You;re now being ignored, and you think that is something that you have done, so you probably start to obsess over him, and want him all the more. Chances are you will chase him a little at this point and it might even bring out the worst in you but then finally, you realise that this is just not happening and you begin to move on with your life. This is when he slaps you with the next cycle. Cycle 3, which is where the cycle begins all over again. This can be really confusing, when a man blows hot and cold because you thought that you did something wrong, you might be tempted to meet up with him. Be wary of this - often guys like this simply keep repeating the cycle, and so unless you want to keep going round and round like this, you're probably best off out of it. A guy who is programed to behave like this does so because they want to keep themselves safe, and they do not want to be vulnerable and have a relationship. If you are looking for a relationship, you need to get out of whatever it is that you have going on with this hot and cold player. Of course, he might possibly chase you - this is because a hot and cold player enjoys the thrill of the chase as it makes him feel powerful. She writes, speaks and coaches on cutting-edge partnership models as well as traditional relationship challenges from a platform that fosters self-esteem and personal empowerment. Susan is currently a contributing writer for The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project. To know more about Susan, visit her website.

He then not only deletes me but blocks me from fb. At the same time, I dont want to do all the communicating to make the relationship work. I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with. A man who gets close emotionally and then pulls away may have a fear of intimacy, says psychotherapist Sheri Jacobson in her article, Five Ways to Deal With an Intimacy Phobic Person, found on the PsychCentral website. I didnt even know what to call it until now. I unfortunately love this man unconditionally.